Family Mediation
About Family Mediation
• What is family mediation?
• Who is it for?
• When can you come?
• How does it work?
• What about the children?
• How can it help?
• How much will it cost?
• Who are the mediators?
• Is it confidential?
• What about the courts?
• Other services
Family mediation supports parents and children through family change and disruption, particularly where this has occurred as a result of separation, divorce or family restructuring.
Family mediation helps families in conflict to communicate more effectively with one another and to consider options that will help them to work through their differences.
Family mediation helps parents to make their own arrangements and plans for the future, particularly regarding their children. The support and help provided by family mediation services can involve:
- helping families to communicate and reduce conflict, through mediation
- facilitating contact between children and a parent who no longer lives with them
- groups for adults and children affected by separation or divorce
Family mediation services in Scotland are affiliated to Relationships Scotland, a registered charity. Our office is in central Edinburgh and there are mediation services located in all parts of mainland and island Scotland.
What is family mediation?
Family mediation is a voluntary process in which a trained, impartial third
person (the mediator) meets with family members and helps them to communicate
more effectively and to make their own arrangements for the future, particularly
for their children. Mediation can help to minimise conflict, improve
family life and help to avoid long, painful and expensive legal battles. Mediators
avoid taking sides, making judgements or giving guidance.
Who is it for?
It is for all sorts of families: married and unmarried, younger and older,
with or without children. Grandparents, stepparents, children and young people
can all be included. It is primarily for parents whose relationship
is over – it is not about helping parents to get back together again.
When can you come?
Mediation can be helpful once communication breaks down. This may be:
- during, or some time after a relationship breakdown
- as a result of families re-forming
- when parents, stepparents, grandparents or young people identify there are communication and practical arrangements which need to be resolved.
Family mediation can help families to negotiate or re-negotiate arrangements.
How does it work?
Family members who are in conflict will be offered an individual, confidential
meeting where information will be shared and options will be discussed.
If mediation is appropriate, and your chosen option, a mediator will
meet with those involved, usually around 3 or 4 times. Each participant
will have the opportunity to talk about their concerns. The aim of mediation
is to agree on practical, workable arrangements for the future, taking
into account children’s views, needs and feelings.
What about the children?
The focus of family mediation is on putting children’s needs first. Families
can do this best by listening to them and trying to understand them. Most
of the local family mediation services also offer the option, if appropriate,
of the mediator meeting individually with children to hear their views on
the things that their parents have been discussing in mediation. The
mediator agrees with the child what they would like to have fed back in to
the mediation process for their parents to hear. This service is called ‘Direct Consultation with Children.’
How can it help?
Family mediation helps families to understand each other better and to
plan for the future. It offers the service of mediators who help people
to communicate, without taking sides. Mediators work with families without
making decisions for them.
How much will it cost?
Child-focused mediation may be provided free, or at a low cost dependent
on income. Some services provide mediation on finance and property matters
and will charge for this. Other services may incur a small charge. Check
your Local Service page.
Who are the mediators?
They are trained professionals who have a thorough knowledge and understanding
of the complexity of family life and of separation, divorce and family
restructuring.
Is it confidential?
Yes. Parents can talk freely and frankly in mediation. What occurs during
family mediation cannot be used in civil proceedings unless both parties
want it to be or if there are issues regarding children’s safety or criminal
activities.
What about the courts?
Family mediation is available to help parents make arrangements without
recourse to the legal process. However, if you go to court, even at that
stage the sheriff can encourage you to attend a mediation service.
Other services
Family mediation has developed beyond the context of separation and divorce. You
might find it also referred to as intergenerational mediation, stepfamily
mediation, homelessness mediation, and ‘all issues mediation’ (mediation
of finance and property matters as well as parenting matters, following
separation).
